This New Crypto Coin Will Soar!
Those of you who thought crypto was a flash in the pan are now regretting not getting in while the getting was good. You see how sky high Bitcoin is, right? We tried to tell you, but you had no faith in imaginary money. Luckily, all is not lost, for the United States now has an administration with a proper vision and its priorities straight, not one bogged down in woke initiatives.
New crypto is being minted every day, and by minted, I don’t mean in the dumb old-fashioned way, where you took metals that had intrinsic value and turned them into coins. These are going the way of the dodo, to which I’ll only add that this bird was simply an ugly nuisance and practically useless, so the world has been better off without them.
Since we’re all paying with credit cards anyway, so why not take the next logical step and do away with this nonsense—all the monthly statements, the interest fees and late charges, and those little plastic rectangles that are constantly being hacked?
Announcing the NZI crypto token, and those that are smart will fall in line and get your share. Don’t miss out, and find yourself having woken up in the wrong camp, surrounded by the barbed wire of outmoded thinking. Each NZI coin you buy strengthens the fatherland! But that’s not all! Our team of scientists have developed Thought Tech™, and this is included free with every purchase of NZI crypto, sent via our unique Thought Beam™ Ray. What’s so special about these, you ask? You will no longer be bothered by the inconveniences of outmoded payment systems. All you need to do is decide to make a purchase, and payment is instantly transferred from your NZI stockpile to the retailer or website. What if the company I want to buy something from isn’t using these new forms of tech, nor accepts the NZI coin? Have no fear. We’ve got you covered. We are also the producers of a new program designed for nearly-instantaneous acceptance, and we call this our Quick Fuse System™. It’s complicated, so we won’t bog you down with details that you certainly wouldn’t understand. In fact, you’d have to be a billionaire to really get it. Rest assured that the NZI team is eliminating troublesome inconveniences that stand between you and a better life. We’ve already lit this fuse, and it’s quickly making its way to its destination, and soon all boats will be lifted sky high, so to speak.
You might be thinking that this all sounds super expensive. We won’t lie to you. It is, but so was the atomic bomb, and look how that ended World War 2 early. Real progress costs money. They didn’t spare the expense when building the pyramids, and as you can see, they’re still around! Americans know about sacrifice. We’ve grown Victory Gardens, organized soup kitchens, and pulled together during times of difficulty. We’ve also sent hundreds of thousands of young men to their deaths, including fighting other Americans, to defend our freedoms. This number doesn’t include those who were maimed and disabled, who now have war wounds they’ll be bragging about for the rest of their lives. It stands to reason that we all need to do our part, so just know that when your Social Security check shrinks, you find your Veterans Administration hospital closed, or that national park you were planning on visiting being drilled, clear-cut, or mined, you’ll also know that this is so we can build a brighter and more secure future for all Americans!
And we’re not going to stop at just one coin, so there will be even more opportunities to create generational wealth. Coming soon: the KK Koin! In the meantime, buy NZI! And while you’re at it, add some extra positivity, that extra “A” for the right attitude!